


You're Yes Then You're No

by thebiggestpileoftrash



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everyone Is Gay, Gender Fluid Yuuri, Gender Neutral Viktor, M/M, Soulmate AU - Temperatures, Vicchan doesnt die bc i cant bring myself to kill a dog even if its canon, both still typically go by he/him pronouns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9337466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebiggestpileoftrash/pseuds/thebiggestpileoftrash
Summary: Every person had a match- a soulmate. Soulmates often came in pairs, and in every pair, there was one person who was very hot and one who was very cold. Touching causes the temperatures to even out to a normal body heat, and once they both realise that they are soulmates, their bodies will begin to retain that normal body heat.Yuuri Katsuki was a Hot.





	1. Chapter 1

Every person had a match- a soulmate. Soulmates often came in pairs, and in every pair, there was one person who was very hot and one who was very cold. Touching causes the temperatures to even out to a normal body heat, and once they both realise that they are soulmates, their bodies will begin to retain that normal body heat.

Yuuri Katsuki was a Hot. Ever since he could remember, he was in an uncomfortable state of wanting to cool down but knowing it would be a waste to try. He always preferred to stay inside than go out and play with the other kids, which wasn’t uncommon for Hots. Only during winter did he even try to do anything active. By the age of 5, Yuuri’s parents took him to the Ice Castle and let him have skating lessons. It seemed like a good choice for him, since the cold wouldn’t make him uncomfortable and he was getting a good exercise while at it. It was there that he met Yuuko and Takeshi, who became close friends.

It was there that he first watched Viktor skating.

He was 12 when Yuuko came running into the Ice Castle, telling them to turn the TV on and flip to the channel showing the Grand Prix Final. Takeshi was closer, and did as they were told while Yuuri just watched. A skater was just getting onto the ice when they got to the channel, which made Yuuko start to freak out. The skater had long platinum hair tied back in a high ponytail, coupled with bright blue eyes that stood out against the dark of the outfit. At first glance, Yuuri thought that he was looking at a girl, but then Yuuko said that _he_ was her favorite skater of all time, despite only being a junior.

Yuuri was memorized by the performance, by _him._ The second the music ended he began to ask Yuuko all kinds of questions about him, only shutting up when final scores were announced. He watched in amazement as _Viktor Nikiforov_ won gold at the Junior Grand Prix Final that year, breaking at the world record at the same time.

They didn’t get much practice done that day, and the next day Yuuri and Yuuko spent the entire time trying to practice Viktor’s routine.

Yuuri began to take comfort in thinking about Viktor, his idol and inspiration to skate. While he was thinking about him, the overwhelming heat that came from being a Hot dulled, or at least it felt like it did. Yuuri just assumed that it was because he wasn’t focusing on it, which made it bearable.

When Yuuko showed him Viktor’s new poodle, Yuuri decided right then and there that he needed a poodle just like that. He had always wanted a dog, and his parents weren’t against it, but he never knew what breed would be the best choice. When he got home from practice and announced that he wanted a brown poodle, his parents smiled and offered to take him to the dog shelter the next day. The baby poodle he ended up getting was tiny, and he cradled him in his arms all the way to the Ice Castle to show Yuuko. He already knew the name.

“You got a poodle?” Yuuko asked, running up to him as soon as he walked in. He had missed practice and had just caught Yuuko and Takeshi as they were heading out.

“Yeah, I’ve named him Viktor.” Yuuri responded, which made Yuuko laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Vicchan!” She said, then asked to hold him. It was as he was handing off his new baby that he realised he had completely forgotten about it being summer, how he didn’t pay attention to the uncomfortable heat that usually guided his actions.

 

He practiced hard, and started competing at a local level until he was scouted by Celestino. Detroit was far away, but he had a goal- to one day skate on the same ice as Viktor Nikiforov. Studying under Celestino was his best chance, and his parents, being supportive as ever, agreed.

The first good thing to come out of Detroit was Phichit. The two clicked instantly, since they both were from countries that were very different from America and had quite a bit of a culture shock. They used each other to practice English, and were both equally determined to get better at ice skating.

They watched the GPF final that year together, cuddled under a blanket. On top of the cold weather, they always kept the temperature of the shared dorm down to freezing levels to counter the fact that they were both Hots. When the senior division started, one of the first shots was of Viktor, standing with his coach and other members of the Russian team. Phichit let out a gasp.

“He cut his hair!” He announced, then turned to Yuuri to see his reaction. Yuuri couldn’t respond, he didn’t know how to. His expression showed pure shock. Phichit grabbed his phone and started scrolling through Instagram, then twitter and news sites. “He must have done it recently, too, since it’s not anywhere online before just now! Yuuri?”

“He’s beautiful.” Yuuri thought aloud, then realised what he said, blushed, and hid his head in his hands. Phichit laughed.

“For a second there, I was worried you only liked Viktor because of his hair, based off your reaction,” Yuuri shook his head, and Phichit continued, “He looks less feminine though, it’s kind of sad. I liked seeing the top skater break gender roles.”

 

The day he turned 23, he was practically alone in a foreign country for the GPF qualifiers, with only Celestino to celebrate with. He received calls and birthday messages from his family, the Nishigoris, and Phichit, but that was it. He had his mind made up, that his birthday present to himself was going to be to pass the qualifiers, and find a way to talk to Viktor. Even if it was just a simple ‘hello’.

The day he was told that he qualified for the GPF was a day he considered to be the best day of his life. He was back in Detroit, and went out with Phichit and some other rink mates to celebrate.

 

When the time came around, he was in Sochi for the GPF, and avoiding Viktor. He practiced on the opposite side of the ice, kept to himself, and betrayed his goal to talk to him.

He performed well enough in the short program, and was in 4th place at the end of the day.

That fact didn’t help his nerves.

****

_‘Yuuri Katsuki Fell to Last Place After the Free Program’_

The news blew up over Viktor’s win and Katsuki’s terrible performance. He had ended up panicking and doing terribly, flubbing almost every jump.

As he was leaving the rink, he saw Viktor. He stared, for some reason unable to pull his gaze until the man turned toward him.

“Commemorative photo?” Viktor asked, and despite being pretty far away from him at that point, Yuuri heard him perfectly. His voice smoothing every part of his body, clearing his head for a mere second before he snapped out of his daze _. I’m not a competitor worthy of a photo with Viktor_ , he thought, over and over as he turned and walked away.

That night, he got shitfaced at the banquet. It was Celestino’s fault for dragging him there in the first place, then ditching him to be alone. His suit was stuffy and the heat of the small room packed with people was too hard to deal with, getting drunk off champagne seemed like a good idea to him.

_I’ll probably never see any of these people again, anyway._

 

He woke with a headache and a slight feeling of regret. He put the feeling behind him and moved on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'll have another chapter done sometime this week!!


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in 5 years, Yuuri returned home.

He picked a predicted colder day out of sheer habit, and expected a truly uneventful return. Minako-sensei has other ideas. His ballet instructor and close family friend picked him up from the train station, dragging him through bothersome social interaction until he snapped and told her to take him home, then they sat in the silent car ride to his house. Yuuri found comfort in the silence, like he always did with Minako or Yuuko or his parents (with Phichit, there was never silence). He knew Minako had a lot to say, a lot of questions and a lot of jabs at his weight, but she respected that he was stressed and tired.

He spent the time remembering the first time he met Minako, in the private ballet class that his family had set up for him when he was 9, and they noticed his love for skating.

_“You must be Yuuri,” The lady before him leaned down slightly to offer her hand to shake, which Yuuri took hesitantly. “I’m Minako-sensei, your new dance instructor.”_

_“Hello.”_

_“How much experience do you have in dancing?” Minako asked, but Yuuri just hid behind his Mom and let her answer (“Not much, he does ice skating and we thought this could help”)_

_They held a conversation about him for a couple minutes, before Minako softly clapped her hands and announced that it was time for Mom to go, so that Yuuri could begin his lesson. Minako took Yuuri over to the wall and pressed play on a remote. “Watch this, Yuuri. I’m going to demonstrate some basic dance moves, the moves that you will be learning over the next couple of weeks.”_

_She danced, and Yuuri watched intensely. Her movements were so fluid, she made dancing look easy and beautiful. When she finished showing off basic moves, she asked Yuuri how he felt about them._

_“Amazing…” He trailed off, and Minako laughed._

_“I wasn’t even dancing, just doing a couple moves! I think I like you already.” She told him to sit down and started showing him some stretches that he was already familiar with from skating. “So flexible! This class will be easy for you, I can tell.”_

_Yuuri nodded his head shyly and smiled, then tugged off the light jacket his parents had him wear. “It’s hot in here.”_

_“Oh, I should have mentioned I have a student-controls-the-temperature policy,” She pointed to the thermostat. “Do you want help changing it?”_

_Yuuri shook his head and walked over to lower the temperature a couple degrees, and walked back wondering if the temperature ever bothered her. By the time he sat down and copied the next stretch, he was officially too curious and asked. “Do prefer warm or cold temperatures?”_

_“Are you asking if I’m a Hot or a Cold?”_

_“I…”_

_“I’m a little too old to be your soulmate, if you think I’m a Cold.” Yuuri blushed instantly and stuttered out an apology. He knew that prying about a person’s soulmate life is typically looked down upon, especially people who he just met, but he had let the curiosity get the better of him. Minako laughed. “I’m kidding, kid. I’m neither.”_

_“N-Neither?”_

_“My body has always retained a normal temperature. Ever since I was little,” She shrugged. “It’s possible, you know. A lot of people are solo- that is, born without a soulmate. Some gain one later in life and become a Hot or Cold, others just… don’t. Like me.”_

_Yuuri spent the rest of the class thinking about this newly acquired knowledge. When his mom picked him up and they were driving home, he told her enthusiastically how cool it was that the soulmate system worked in such weird ways, to which his mom smiled and agreed._

They got to his house just before sunset, and the first thing he heard was Vicchan barking.

He started tearing up at the sound, then full on sobbing happily when he walked in and was jumped by the dog. He never realised how much he missed Vicchan over the years. The Facetimes that he got to have with his sister or parents or even Minako didn’t give him nearly enough Vicchan sightings.

When greetings were over and Minako finally got to comment on his sudden weight gain, he retreated to his room, where he was greeted by Viktor Nikiforov in every corner. If there was one thing he had somehow managed to forget, it was his embarrassing amount of posters. The sight of his idol reminded him of how uncomfortably hot he was inside with his jacket and layers of clothes. He looked at the time, then turned on his heel and rushed out of the house, calling after his mom saying he was going to visit the rink to cool his head.

 

Yuuko was the only one he wanted to see his copy of Viktor’s performance. The girl who had inspired him constantly and made him into the person he is. The person who, if soulmates didn’t exist (or were wrong, which he had hoped once or twice), would be his crush.

He worked hard to give her the masterful performance she deserved. The performance that he deserved. Her reaction and the way his heart didn’t stop beating after made him sure that he couldn’t quit, not yet.

Then the triplets showed up, then Takeshi, and no more productive skating was done that night.

 

Viktor had seen the video before Yuuri was finally told. How did Yuuri know this? The first comment, pinned to the top of the comments section by the largest amount of likes that he had ever seen, was Viktor’s.

All it said was ‘Wow!’

Yuuri wanted to die more than ever.

 

He didn’t notice at first that Makkachin was there, at his house. He saw the brown poodle and thought it was Vicchan. Then he saw another brown poodle and thought it was Vicchan too. That made him do a double take and yell something incoherent about a cloned dog. His father heard and told him about their foreign guest.

Yuuri wasn’t the type of person to run inside, and he never liked going to the baths outside due to the heat, but he darted out there as fast as he could, so that he was panting by the time he got out there. The heat hit him right away, but he ignored the uncomfortably warm feeling and scanned for-

Viktor Nikiforov. In his family onsen. Fully naked.

He yelled to gain his idols attention. Viktor slowly stood up, and gave a confident smile, somehow not caring that he was naked.

“Katsuki Yuuri, I’m your new coach!”

Yuuri nearly fainted. He remained standing there for a few seconds, until his Hot nature got the better of him and he walked back inside, relived to be away from the steam of the baths. He slumped against a wall and tried to piece together what was going on, and by the time Viktor walked in with a towel on, he finally decided that this had to be some prank.

“Yuuuuuri,” He said, dragging out his name as if he were a child whining to his mother in an attempt to get what they wanted. “The baths felt so good and warm, I can’t believe you made me get out of it.”

“I, um,” Yuuri started, trying to look at Viktor in the eye instead of lingering down his beautiful toned chest and the line where the towel cut off his view, while the mental image of what he couldn’t see bounced around in his head. “I don’t know who put you up for this, or if you’re here to make fun of me for that video, but maybe you sh-“

“Yuuri.” Viktor cut him off, his voice suddenly stern. “I’m serious. I’m your new coach.”

Yuuri blushed harder. “This isn’t real. You’re not here. I’m going crazy.”

“This is real. I’m here and so is my dog. I can’t judge your sanity but I don’t think you’re crazy?”

“Viktor Nikiforov, five-time gold medalist, dropped everything to come here and be my coach, just because of a video that was posted of me.”

“Well, it wasn’t really the vide-“

Yuuri suddenly lost his calm, leaving the disbelief stage to full on panic. “When this gets around, I’ll be seen as the person who stole Viktor Nikiforov from the world! What are you doing about skating? I can’t possible make you be my coach if you’re also a competitive skater! Also, that video hasn’t been posted for long, how the hell did you get here so fast? Please don’t tell me you dropped everything and came here. Does your coach know, or your family?” Yuuri stopped a moment, just to collect his breath. Viktor looked shocked from Yuuri’s sudden outburst. He continued. “Did I steal you away from a soulmate? I follow news about you religiously and never heard anything about a soulmate, but some things even the news respects as private. I-“

Yuuri cut himself off at one look at Viktor’s face, which for a small moment after Yuuri mentioned soulmates, Viktor looked… hurt? Betrayed. He let the room grow silent. Although, it wasn’t long before Viktor shivered and broke the silence.

“It’s cold,” Viktor said, back to his playful whining. “Warm me up, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s face flushed a deep red. Telling someone to warm them up usually was reserved for soulmates, as that was what a Hot did for Colds. His first thought was that Viktor was making fun of him for assuming that he had a soulmate that he had left behind, which embarrassed Yuuri more.

“I’ll get you a robe, follow me.” Yuuri said, gesturing to the right. He moved away fast, but he didn’t miss the frown that was on Viktor's face  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh i was so touched by how many hits this fic got within an hour of me posting it, and all the kudos and comments were just !!!!!! yall are so nice. Thank you to @ zetal, ceci, and liaofthedawn for answering my question about the commemorative photo!!!!! (i edited it out after getting the answers)
> 
> next chapter will be ehhh idk probably early next week depending on how much writing i get done this weekend


	3. Chapter 3

“YUURI,” Minako came into the room, screaming. She went to ask if it was true about Viktor being here, but stopped when she saw the Russian man asleep on the floor.

Yuuri didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her all his worries, how strange everything feels to him about this, but doesn’t let himself because he kept thinking, _what if Viktor isn’t actually asleep? He could be pretending; no one is that beautiful when they sleep. It’s not like he can understand us anyway, talking in Japanese, but what if he could._ “Good morning, Minako. This snow storm sure is nice, isn’t it?”

“I’m not here for small-talk Yuuri! Explain this!”

Yuuri stumbled over words for a second, but then Viktor sneezed and sat up suddenly. At first, Yuuri was thrown off by how cute that was, but then he realised that Viktor might have just sneezed himself awake, and held back a smile and a laugh.

Viktor said something in Russian, but right after corrected himself and said one word in English, “Hungry,” causing Yuuri to panic. They ended up, on Viktor’s request, eating pork cutlet bowls. It was then that Yuuri found out something important about his idol (and coach).

Viktor was ****ing savage.

His words didn’t hurt Yuuri, because everything he said about his weight being not ideal for skating wasn’t completely _wrong_ and Yuuri had been thinking of losing the weight anyway, but Viktor hadn’t spared him any expense while saying it. It wasn’t until Mari pointed out the luggage in the hall that Yuuri snapped out of his daze. _Viktor, staying here?_

His parents, bless their kind-hearted souls, agreed instantly and even told Yuuri to let Viktor have the large banquet room next to Yuuri’s. They all helped carry boxes to the room, but after that, Yuuri was alone with Viktor (and Vicchan and Makkachin, who were playing in a corner).

“Sorry about this, we only had an unused banquet room available.” Yuuri said, while risking a glance at Viktor’s face. He had been avoiding eye contact and for a while, even looking in general. But the second that he said banquet Viktor’s expression softened slightly, it was subtle, but Yuuri caught it.

“You look anxious, Yuuri.” Viktor said. Yuuri felt his face flush, and suddenly felt like running outside and sticking his head in a pile of snow. He forgot to listen to Viktor saying whatever he had said next, but then Viktor was suddenly on the ground, kneeling in front of him. “Tell me everything about you,”

Yuuri didn’t think to move away when Viktor reached his hand out. His first response to another person’s touch has always been to move away, but that thought hadn’t even crossed his mind as he say Viktor’s hand rise to be under his chin. There was a moment of hesitation on Viktor’s part, where he paused before actually touching Yuuri’s chin, that was the perfect moment or Yuuri to stand up, brush himself off, and walk away. But he didn’t.

Viktor’s hand was cold. Viktor was a Cold. Yuuri had guessed that from earlier, but this confirmed it to him. Viktor was talking still, but he couldn’t listen to it at all. He was too focused on how Viktor’s hand on his chin was slowly getting less cold, how Viktor’s touch felt good against his warm body. Then, he felt Viktor’s other hand sliding down his arm, to Yuuri’s exposed hand. There was more cold. Viktor’s hand was freezing and fully covering his hand. It made the warmth melt away from his skin, and he suddenly realised that he wasn’t even noticing Viktor’s hand on his chin anymore, it didn’t feel cold at all anymore.

Yuuri fell back, and scooted as far away as possible from Viktor. Vicchan followed him, thinking he was playing chase, and pounced onto Yuuri’s lap once he stopped moving.

“Why are you running away?”

“No reason,” Yuuri managed to say past the blush that had expanded to be completely over his face. He pushed Vicchan off of his lap and stood up, brushed himself off, and bid Viktor a good night. Once he was safely out of the room, with the door closed, he lost his composure. He ran into his own room and straight into his bed. He heard a dog scratching at his door, which he ignored until said dog whined. Yuuri opened the door a crack and let Vicchan run in, then closed it again.

His mind was going a mile a minute. He had touched Colds before, Yuuko being the first one to come to mind. Before she and Takeshi realised they were soulmates, Yuuko had been a Cold. When they were young, and realised they were opposites, Yuuko and Yuuri did what every pair of opposites did, they tested to see if they were soulmates. Yuuri still remembers the disappointment he felt at her touch, how he didn’t feel anything except more warmth on the part of his arm her hand was on.

That’s what opposites who aren’t soulmates feel when they touch each other. Hots feel more warmth; Colds don’t feel any warmth.

At least, that’s what Yuuri thought. If that was the case, why did he feel the cold of Viktor’s touch? Why did that cold slowly feel warmer, as if…

Vicchan jumped up onto the bed with Yuuri, cuddling up next to him. Thankful for the distraction from his own thoughts, Yuuri ran his fingers though the dogs fur and scratched behind his ear. “Good boy,” Yuuri whispered. Neither of them moved for a while, to the point which Yuuri realised Vicchan might have fallen asleep. Then Yuuri heard someone knocking.

“Yuuri~” The person he wanted to see the least at the moment called through the closed door. “Let’s sleep together! There’s so much I need to learn about you!”

“No!” Yuuri called back, and moved to the door to both hold it closed and listen to see if Viktor moved away. But the knocking continued. Yuuri then realised something important, very important. He had posters of _Viktor Nikiforov_ hanging in his room, covering _every wall_ , and _Viktor Nikiforov_ was outside of his room _, asking to come in_. Yuuri had never moved as fast as he did trying to take down every poster quickly while still not damaging the images. By the time he finished, the knocking stopped and he couldn’t hear Viktor outside anymore. He hid his face in his poster pile, alone with his thoughts (and a sleeping dog).

_We’ve hardly ever spoken, but he flew all the way here with enough stuff to move in. Why did he know I’d be okay with him coaching me? Why was his touch so different than I had ever experienced from other people? Could we… what are the chances that we’re soulmates? My idol, the person who’ve I’ve always put on a high pedestal, he’s right here. Maybe that’s a sign, that he really is…_

_No. There’s no way I’m good enough to be his soulmate. The cold I felt was because its cold outside, making everything cold to the touch. I just got used to his touch, that’s why it seemed like a soulmate reaction._

Yuuri nodded to himself, sure of his reasoning. He went back to his bed and resumed cuddling Vicchan. Even if Viktor wasn’t his soulmate, Yuuri did find himself to be happy about him being here.

 

“So Yuuri, where’s your home rink?” Viktor asked the next day. He didn’t mention anything about the rejection Yuuri had given him last night, so Yuuri acted like it never happened too.

“It’s, uh, it’s not far. We can go after breakfast, if you like.” Yuuri answered while his mother brought them both some food. Viktor’s plate had a lot more food than Yuuri’s. Yuuri let out a sigh. “A diet?”

“Yes! I talked to Minako about what the best course of action is to get you to an ideal skating weight as fast as possible. She relayed the plan to your parents and sister. We’re all going to watch what you eat for a while,” Viktor said with a smile that basically looked like he was saying ‘you ain’t shit, Yuuri’. “Ah, but don’t worry, you might have less food but you’re still going to be getting the right amount of calories and all the food groups! This is a healthy diet that I’ve known others to use.”

“O-Okay.” Yuuri said, tired already despite only just waking up.

 

Viktor made him run. He took Yuuri’s bike, and he made him run to keep up with him. Makkachin joined them, but he was at Viktors side the entire time, it was as if the dog was used to running with Viktor.

The good news? Yuuri didn’t die. The bad news? He felt like he did. While he gained his breath again and tried to cool down from running so much, Viktor introduced himself to the Nishigori family. Of course, there was a lot of surprised shouting, and they both had to confirm it was true many times.

Viktor was putting on his skates when Yuuko pulled him aside and whispered, “This is actually happening? Are you okay?”

Yuuri was confused by the question, and looked at Yuuko. She winked. “I mean, has your heartbeat slowed to a normal rate at all since he came?” Yuuri turned into a blushing mess, and excused himself to the bathroom to hide it. By the time he made it back, Viktor was on the ice practicing some moves. He told off the triplets for videotaping Viktor, and confirmed yet again to Takeshi. They all watched until Viktor said,

“The little piggy can’t enter the rink until he loses some body fat.”

Yuuri sighed in defeat. He thanked Takeshi for letting them use the rink, and grabbed his stuff to get help from Minako.

 

The weight loss program continued, sometimes Yuuri worked with Minako, other times Takeshi helped him out. Yuuri didn’t want to admit it to anyone but Vicchan, but the times he enjoyed the most were when Viktor joined him. Well, ‘joined him’ aka he cheered him on. Having his idol cheer him on did motivate him, so Yuuri guessed that’s why he liked those exercise sessions the most. He was with Viktor a couple of days after him coming to Hasetsu when Viktor started asking personal questions again.

“Do you have feelings for anyone? Minako?” He started.

“What, no way!” Yuuri said quickly. Viktor didn’t miss a beat.

“No one?”

“No.” Yuuri didn’t miss the fact that Viktor seemed to get happier hearing that.

“Never? Have you ever had feelings for anyone?”

“N-no comment.” Yuuri said, evading the question.

“Okay, then let’s talk about me! My first relationship was-“ Viktor began, but Yuuri cut him off, but not quick enough. The ‘first’ in that sentence made him curious.

“You’ve had more than one relationship?” He shyly asked, which made Viktor smile again.

“Yes, but it was never anything super serious.”

“What about your soulmate?”

Viktor hesitated, seemingly trying to figure out what to say. “I’ve spent so long without meeting them, it was lonely.” He looked pained to say more, so Yuuri guessed that soulmates were a touchy subject. “Besides, the relationships were platonic and mostly just for the company. I’m under the opinion that it’s not cheating on your soulmate if there’s no-“

“Okay! That’s enough!” Yuuri cut him off again, afraid of where that sentence was going.

“I was going to say love.”

“Sorry.”

Makkachin chose that moment to bark, and the topic of conversation shifted to the Hasetsu castle and ninjas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you thank you thank you for all the amazing comments and all the kudos!!! i dont have to fly to a different country with my dick out to find inspiration, all I have to do is look in the comment section ;)
> 
> I'll try to post another chapter by wednesday/thursday, but if I dont then it might be a while since i'm going on an out-of-state college visit this week. 
> 
>  
> 
> p.s i went to see A Dogs Purpose today and it was amazing, please go see it if you can (and bring tissues). The rumors that the dogs were treated badly is false, heavily encouraged by PETA based on mistakes that the producers of the movie admitted to. Those dogs were cared for and in safe care please dont boycott it. ive never cried so much during a movie and it was truly an experience and its pro-rescue and there is so much good about this movie. if this movie 'flops' because of people refusing to see it, then we wont get more dog movies and dog movies are so important. dogs are so important. This is coming from someone who couldn't go with the canon and let vicchan die out of love for dogs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo im alive this fic isnt dead i swear

The arrival of Yuri Plisetski, or as he was then dubbed, Yurio, gave Yuuri quite the shock. He had finally gotten to the point where he could skate to Viktor’s expectations, and was (if he had to admit) excited for practice. Not just practice, but being alone with Viktor. Having his idol… coach… give full attention to his skating was something that had been a dream of his for a long time. Now that attention was to be divided under the idea of competition.

Yuuri realised he was jealous.

Which is what brought them to the situation they were in. Viktor was showing off the short programs that the two would do. ‘Agape’ for Yurio and ‘Eros’ for Yuuri. The first one Viktor went through was Yurio’s, which had sent Yuuri into a daze. It was _difficult_. But Yurio still was able to seem okay with it, he wasn’t thrown off nearly as much as Yuuri was. He felt a dread overcome him, while Viktor was about to start showing off the choreography for On Love: Eros, that he wouldn’t be able to do it. That the program would be far too difficult for him to pull off, that he would lose the competition and Viktor along with it.

When Viktor began, his fears didn’t leave him. They multiplied. The program was sexy. Every move displayed… well, Eros. Fitting for the song, but Yuuri definitely didn’t think it was fitting for him. Yuuko ended up on the floor with an intense nosebleed, and Yuuri honestly thought he was going to end up there next. He couldn’t even pay attention to the choreography, Viktor was just too hot. It was enough to make him, a person incapable of having children, pregnant! He tried not to blush as the song ended, but failed.

Viktor asked him what he thought of it as well as certain technicalities that would be important for the choreography, and he calmed down. Viktor was being considerate as a coach, not trying to make him do things he couldn’t do. Sure, he wanted to do more than just the basics, like Viktor said he should start with, but it was a good choice.

“You have the skill to win,” Viktor said, with a determined look in his eye. “Why can’t you make it happen?”

Yuuri tried to figure out what to say in response. He knew he panicked at competitions which caused him to mess up his jumps because of it. His anxiety would get the better of him, the thousands of eyes looking at him at once freaked him out, made him overthink and worry about all his flaws. The outfits were often tight, uncomfortable on his warm body, and made him constantly stress over his body weight and curves, which led to periods of unhealthy diet then stress eating then back to the unhealthy diet.

“That’s… probably because I lack confidence in myself.” Yuuri finally responded, hoping that ‘lacking confidence’ really encompassed everything he felt. He was scared to say anything more; in case he might scare off Viktor with his problems.

“Right. My job is to make you feel confident in yourself.” Viktor nodded slowly, closing his eyes while doing so. Yuuri stared at his long eyelashes as his eyes were closed, and didn’t look away when he opened his eyes again, as he moved closer to him. He realised too late what was happening. Viktor was inches away from his face, closer than ever before, and his hand was back under his chin. His thumb brushed his bottom lip. Yuuri couldn’t think, he couldn’t react. He once again felt the cold of Viktor’s hands, causing his chin to slowly become a completely different temperature than the rest of his face, the rest of his body.

“No one in the whole world knows your true Eros, Yuuri. It’s an alluring side that you yourself might be unaware of. Can you show me soon?” Viktors voice was low, only the two of them knew what he said. There was so much emotion hidden behind those words, but Yuuri couldn’t focus on that. Not when the cold of his touch was normalizing to something comfortable, a natural feeling that he couldn’t describe no matter how hard he tried. He craved more, which felt strange to him. Touching others had always been something he tended to avoid. But for some reason all he wanted to do in that moment was take Viktors hand in his, to get even closer. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest, so he was glad when Yurio shouted at them and made Viktor back away. _I can’t think like that_ , Yuuri decided, _because it would never work_.

Viktor responded to Yurio’s shouting at him to practice with him, but made sure to turn back and pose a question that haunted Yuuri:

_What is Eros to me?_

 

The Nishigori’s were a blessing. They helped Yuuri through training and encouraged him when he needed it most while training for the competition. His days went by fast, at least, they seemed like they did. He woke up, ate breakfast, went on a morning run with whichever dog got to him first, worked out with Takeshi or practiced ballet, then trained with Viktor after-hours at the ice rink. Every day was just going through the motions, but he didn’t despise it. He enjoyed going home late at night with Viktor and Yurio, eating dinner together and the occasional moment where his leg or foot would brush against Viktor’s under the table. He liked how Viktor kept trying to invade his personal space, trying to give hugs or pats on the back when he did something good in practice. He avoided those interactions, and therefore touching him again, but he still liked that Viktor tried. Especially since he didn’t do those things with Yurio as much, or at all. But then again, Yurio looked like the type to bite, so maybe it was just smart of him not to.

Viktor was also accepting of the fact that Yuuri obviously had no idea what eros was, or what it felt like. He let Yuuri skate the program thinking of katsudon, despite the ridiculousness of it. The ‘split attention’ that Yuuri had thought would be a thing ended up not being true at all. Viktor made time for both of them, as needed. By the time the competition was nearing, Yuuri actually felt prepared. Or at least, until the night before, when Minako invited herself over for dinner and asked them what costume they were going to use for the show. Both he and Yurio had forgotten, but Viktor hadn’t. On the contrary, Viktor shipped _every single costume_ of his to Japan for them to choose from. Extra? Extremely. But Yuuri loved it. As a longtime fan of Viktor, he was in heaven.

As they looked through the boxes, a certain one caught his eye. It was completely black, see through in some areas and decorated with white in a stylish manner going from one side of the outfit to the other. He recognized it immediately. It was the costume that Viktor wore the first time Yuuri had seen him on TV, when Yuuko had rushed into the Ice Castle and demanded the Junior Worlds be turned on. He remembered the look of Viktor with his long hair tied back in a ponytail, the way the costume hugged his body without giving Yuuri any insight to whether he was looking at a boy or a girl. Viktor noticed his interest in the specific costume.

“Ah, that one,” He smiled fondly. “I had long hair at the time, so the costume suggested both genders.” It took everything in Yuuri to not reply ‘I know’, or something along those lines. He was afraid to say that the feminine elements Viktor incorporated into his skating gave him a secret confidence, one that he only shared with Phichit. The idea that someone born a male didn’t have to remain fixed in that label, while not staying under the label of ‘female’ either. He couldn’t look at Viktor as he decided he would wear that outfit, nor did he pay attention to the one Yurio chose. He kept thinking about how different he felt while with Viktor, how he felt comfortable around him. It was almost confidence, and he wanted to use that.

That night, he went to Minako, and asked her to help him do something long overdue. He asked her to teach him feminine ways to move. She didn’t question it, just complained about having to forfeit her beauty sleep.

 

He put on the costume the next day, as he had tried it on last night, but he felt like it fit him better after the night of working with Minako. Sure, the sizing hadn’t changed (luckily, Yuuri was around the same size as Viktor was in the last year of competing in Juniors), but his determination had. Finally, he felt as if he had taking a step in the right direction in his skating. He didn’t miss the approving look that Viktor gave him as he was concentrated on warming up just before the show.

Yurio went first, and his skate was perfect. The white outfit that he chose was the embodiment of agape, and only a little bit big on him (to be expected). Yuuri felt a fear overcome him, ruining the confidence he built up. He knew he couldn’t beat a perfect program with the technical elements he had. He was severely lacking in that part, and it brought his scores down. His vision went blurrier than it already was without his glasses, and he was suddenly very dizzy _. I want to win, I don’t want Viktor to leave,_ he repeated in his mind.

“Yuuri.” He heard someone call for him. He looked up and saw Viktor standing in front of him, and gasped. With his skates on, he was the same height as Viktor, give or take a few centimeters. He was eye level with his idol, the person who he always looked up to mentally and physically. He knew this was his moment to try to gather his determination back.

“I’m going to become a super tasty pork cutlet bowl, please watch me,” He hesitantly said, as if he would overstep boundaries that he knew weren’t there. In a split of the second decision, he pulled Viktor into a hug, careful to only touch the areas of his upper body which were covered by his layers of clothing. Except there was a moment where his cheek brushed against Viktor’s, and he felt the cold of Viktors skin again. It was torture, but also motivation. “Promise to watch me.”

“Of course, I love pork cutlet bowls.” Viktor replied softly. It was all Yuuri needed to hear.

He skated like never before. He messed up a few times, to be expected, but he managed to convey the story of the playboy and the girl, the story of the eros. He didn’t leave the ice hating himself, but instead he left it in Viktor’s arms. As soon as he reached the wall, Viktor was hugging him, much like how Yuuri had hugged him before the skate, but a little less careful.

He had won the competition and Viktor. On the podium, he had a wave of pride rush over him, even though this competition wasn’t an official one. The feeling of Viktor’s arm around his back, his hand holding his arm to comfort him didn’t give the cold feeling that skin-to-skin contact would have given, but still felt reassuring. He didn’t feel wrong announcing his goal to win the Grand Prix Final. He didn’t feel wrong about anything.

 

Yuuri felt wrong about everything. One day he was waking up late, cuddling Vicchan and leaving him confused when he ran to the scheduled early morning practice, and the next he was skipping practice altogether for no reason at all other than the dread that he would never be good enough. Viktor, who had been slowly learning more of his traits and tendencies, didn’t seem put off by the constant pushing away Yuuri did. He seemed to take it as motivation to grow closer to him, which he flaunted when they took baths together. Or at least, he flaunted _something_ at the baths. Because the weather was still slightly cold, Yuuri was okay with taking short baths in the hot springs before his body temperature made him run inside to his cold room. It was tedious and uncomfortable after a while, but the hot springs felt so nice, there were nights where he couldn’t resist a few minutes occasionally. Viktor seemed to show up at every single one of those occasions. One night, they were discussing Yuuri’s skating, and Yuuri began to get out of the water, only to be pulled out by Viktor. The sudden feeling of cold shocked him, and as soon as he was out, he tried to escape Viktor’s grasp politely. Viktor held strong.

“Yuuri, do you know why I wanted to be your coach? I was drawn to you by the music your body makes, the way you skate, and also-“ 

Yuuri didn’t let him finish. At that point, he realised they were both naked, touching (even if it was just a little), and he wasn’t ready to hear this. He took a step back, which made Viktor lose his grip on his hands and the touch fade. He looked upset by the action, but either realised from Yuuri’s bright red face that it was too much, or resigned to the fact that he had gone too far on his own. They changed topics to Yuuri’s free program, which Yuuri was happy about, but he could see how much Viktor longed to talk about what they were before, for the touch that was interrupted. They went back inside and at the end of the night, it was decided that Yuuri was producing his own free skate program.

Over the next few days, he felt the guilt of that night eating him alive. He reverted back to avoiding Viktor at every opportunity, only truly seeing him at practice. Viktor didn’t let on that he was hurt by this, or that he felt anything about it, but Yuuri knew he was being terrible. It lasted until he tried to skip practice that Viktor finally made them spend the day together. They went to the beach, and sat quietly for a while.

“Yuuri,” Viktor began, but Yuuri didn’t need to hear it.

“I’m sorry.” He said immediately. He had been waiting for a chance to say it the whole time they were there. “I don’t mean to push you away, I just…”

He had trailed off, not knowing if he wanted to continue voicing his thoughts. But one look at Viktor’s face, which had remained blank except for his eyes that displayed how much he cared for Yuuri. “I just… it’s a habit. I spent all my life pushing people away, avoiding touching out of fear of finding my soulmate and not being good enough for them. There was this one girl in Detroit who I literally pushed away while she was trying to comfort me, I didn’t mean any harm by it, but still don’t know why I did it. I’ve been afraid to show my feelings since I was little, and touching felt too much like I was opening up to people. Even when I decided that I was-” He stopped himself.

“Yuuri, you don’t have to be afraid to open up to people, to me or your family. You aren’t weak for having feelings.”

“It’s not really my family, they know pretty much everything about me,” Yuuri said, then took a deep breath. “Even that I’m genderfluid. I told them a couple of days after I realised and they never treated my differently, and their faith in me never wavered.” He stopped staring at the water and looked at Viktor. There was a look of shock on his face that made Yuuri’s stomach plummet. He quickly added, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

Viktor cut him off. “Have I been mispronouning you?”

Yuuri was taken aback. That wasn’t the reaction he thought the shocked look was going to bring. “N-No. I still use he/him.”

“Oh, I was afraid for a second that I was hurting you without realizing.” Viktor sighed. “I’m actually the same way. Well, not genderfluid, but gender neutral with he/him pronouns. I don’t really tell anyone, but it’s nice to know for yourself, right? I think you’re the first one I’ve told.”

Yuuri smiled and nodded. Inside, he was overjoyed to be let in on this secret of Viktor’s, as well as with the direction this conversation had gone. He wondered if it was okay to admit at this moment that Viktor was a large reason why he had figured out his gender identity, since it seemed like the perfect chance, but held his tongue on the subject. He changed the topic of the conversation after a small, comfortable moment of silence.

“Do you know if Yurio is a Hot or a Cold? I was trying to figure it out while he was here, but couldn’t.” He asked. Viktor chuckled.

“He doesn’t like telling anyone, but since I knew him from when he was little, I know he’s a Cold. But I can already tell that whoever his soulmate is, it’s going to be a platonic one. Which is good. He’s forever young in my mind and despite the way he acts, I bet he’ll never lose his innocence and childlike behavior.”

Yuuri agreed and they fell into another comfortable silence. This time, it was Viktor that broke it. “What do you want me to be to you? A father figure?”

“No,”

“A brother?”

“No,”

“A friend?”

“No,”

“Then, your boyfriend, I guess? I’ll try my best.”

“No!” Yuuri jumped up from the place he was sitting, and realised that came off badly, it was too harsh on Viktor and made it sound like that was the last thing he wanted. “I mean, I don’t want you to force yourself to be anything, just be you! You’re the person I’ve always looked up to, and seeing you skate made me realise more about myself then I thought I could. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, and avoiding you altogether, but it’s just that I don’t know how to act in this situation.”

He caught the quick amused look in Viktor’s eyes. “In what situation?”

“With you, as my coach. I’ll make all this up to you with my skating, I promise.”

Viktor let out a small sigh, and didn’t look at Yuuri for a moment. When he did, he also held his arm out, hoping for a handshake. “Okay, I won’t let you off easy then.”

Yuuri obliged to the handshake, but dropped his hand quick. He knew the next thing he had to work on was this touching thing, he had to learn how to accept Viktor’s touches and hugs without freaking out over them. He wasn’t being fair to Viktor, and it hurt him. As they walked back to the house, he kept thinking about taking Viktor’s hand and holding it until they made it home, but didn’t.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient while I procrastinated! I have so many plans for this fic but had been stuck for a while trying to figure out how to continue. I've been busy with school and college applications and scholarships, but I also really wanted to continue writing both this and my other fic. So here we are, a three-day weekend thanks to presidents day (man, i love celebrating obama. im so glad hes the president ##denial) and I decided to make use of my time! I think I'll write some more tomorrow... today... its 3am wow... because I'm really excited for the next chapter ;)))) so maybe a double update to make up for the long wait? If not, then maybe sometime this week there will hopefully be another chapter.  
> Anyways, please leave kudos or comments!!! I love getting emails telling me that someone commented or left kudos. I read every comment, so if you have any burning questions please feel free to ask!!! Love you all <3333!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is the chapter ive been wanting to write since the start ;)))))))

Yuuri still had the free skate program to think about, and his and his mind kept going back to encounters of the past, of the one time he almost produced his own free skate before. IN the end, he decided the best thing he could do was call Phichit for help.

“Hello? Yuuri?” Phichit answered quickly, with his forever-cheerful smile. He was on an ice rink that was unfamiliar to Yuuri, but he knew that it was because he was back in Thailand. His hair was slightly disheveled, as it usually got when he was practicing, but it still was presentable.

“Phichit! Sawasdee Krab!”

“How have you been? I’ve missed you!”

“How’s practice in Thailand treating you?”

“Fun! You should come to Bangkok, I’ll show you around,” Phichit said, then added a wink, “bring that new coach of yours too, what was his name again?”

“Oh ha ha, you know what his name is.” Yuuri hoped he wasn’t blushing. He probably was. “I know you’ve been stalking Viktors Instagram for pictures of me that he uploads.”

“What! I would never!”

“I mentioned your name once and he recognized it from Instagram, then showed me how you had liked every post of his, and commented on all the ones with me in it.”

“Uh…”

“I’ll tell him to follow you if you help me out.”

“Deal. What do you need.”

Yuuri smirked, it was too easy to get Phichit on board with… well… anything. “That girl who wrote a song for me to skate to once, and was shelved in the end. Help me find her.”

“Oh, I think I remember who you’re talking about. Sure! But first…” There was a mischievous look in his friends’ eye.

“Oh no.”

“I need details. What’s it like with Viktor?”

Yuuri had to think of how to describe it. “It, uh, different?”

“Not good enough!”

“Fun?”

“Yuuuuuuuri.”

“Great?”

“’Detail’ usually means more than one word, kiddo.”

“You’re younger than me!” Yuuri said, then sighed. “Viktor is really nice and considerate, and not that bad a coach either.” He could see that Phichit was hoping for something different. “He’s really touchy.”

“Touchy?”

“Like, he seems always ready for a hug or something like that. He has no regard for personal space. He keeps trying to invade mine. I mean, who shows up at a stranger’s house and takes a bath at their hot springs so that they’re fully naked when they tell you that they’re your coach? That’s a bad first impression. He acts on impulse so much; I feel like I have to watch him like I do a child. Also, his dog is cute and mine now.” He turned the phone camera so that Phichit could see the two dogs asleep on Yuuri’s bed.

“You make it sound like it’s the worst thing in the world.” Phichit said after obviously screenshotting a picture of the dogs. Yuuri made a mental note to send him dog pictures more often.

“No, it’s not the worst thing. I just don’t know how to talk about the positive parts.” Yuuri said, shyly. But then he realised that if anyone was good for talking about this, it was Phichit. “Okay, so it’s weird. This is weird. You know how I’ve always hated being close to people and touching and all that? It’s the opposite for him. It’s, well, easy to talk to him? Easy is a bad way to put it, but in comparison to other people, it’s easy. I told him I’m genderfluid and his reaction was ‘Have I been mispronouning you?’ which is so comforting, and anytime I’m obviously not in the best mood he’s considerate about it.”

“You sound like a fool in love.”

“Phichit!”

“What, you do. It’s cute. I’m glad he took your gender well; I would have fought him if not.”  

“Don’t fight 5-time gold medalists.”

“You can’t stop me.”

Yuuri chuckled, and ended up falling into laughter with Phichit. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. _Do I sound like a fool in love? Am I a fool in love?_ Phichit noticed the change in how Yuuri was acting since he had said that.

“And here I thought you were the type to wait for your soulmate.” He did an exaggerated gasp. “Unless he is your soulmate!”

“Don’t be…” Yuuri thought of the strangeness of Viktors touch. The cold of it that comforted him. How everything seemed right when he was with Viktor. “…silly.”

“Yuuri?”

“I haven’t touched him long enough to really figure out if he is.”

“YUURI.”

“And it could be… it would explain a lot…”

“Oh my god, Yuuri.”

Yuuri sunk into his seat, and put his head against his desk. “I’ve been denying the chance. And there are a lot of chances.”

Phichit had to move out of the way for a parent and their child skating by, and someone yelled something near him in his native language, causing him to call back. He gave Yuuri a pointed look. Yuuri knew that look. It was a signature Phichit look, one that he only got when he was obviously overthinking things or when he was ruining his life by himself. In this situation, it was probably both.

“I have to go, but you have to get your life together, Yuuri.” Phichit said. “Text me if anything happens, and I’ll see about that girl. Remember your end of the bargain!”

“I will, thank you Phichit!” They hung up, and Yuuri was left in the silence of his room.

 

It didn’t take long for Phichit to email him a way to contact the girl. Yuuri told Viktor to follow Phichit on Instagram, which he did without questioning it.

The girl agreed readily to redo the music she wrote. Yuuri would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to hear it.

 

To pass time while waiting for the free skate music, Viktor helped him with some jumps. The longer it got to be after his phone call with Phichit, the guiltier he felt. He was constantly avoiding Viktor’s touch, afraid of what it could mean. So here he was, skating on an empty ice rink with Viktor, the Nishigoris not even being in the building, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

He ended up on the freezing ice without even realising it. He registered that he fell, but didn’t know how. All he knew was that Viktor was suddenly there above him, trying to make sure he’s okay. Then he reached his hand out to help Yuuri up.

“Are you okay, Yuuri? That was bad fall, you tend to flub jumps when you’re thinking too much.” Yuuri nodded slightly, and began to push himself up by himself. He saw Viktor’s smile falter as he let his arm fall to his side. _I hurt him again_ , Yuuri thought. He couldn’t stand it.

“Help me up.” Yuuri said suddenly, and held his hand out. Viktor took it and pulled him up, expression not changing. He knew that wasn’t a good sign. When he was back on his feet, and Viktor moved to let go of his hand, he didn’t let him. Instead, he pulled Viktor into a tight hug. He heard Viktor let out a surprised gasp, but ignored it. “Sorry.”

“Yuuri?” Viktor asked, his shock obvious in his voice.

Yuuri backed away, but kept Viktor’s hand in his. The cold from his fall on the ice lingered on his skin, but Viktor was a different kind of cold. Yuuri decided then and there that he had to do what he had avoided for months.

“How long have you been a Cold?” He asked. Viktor’s eyes widened. Most people were a Hot or Cold since birth or the first few months of life, but if your soulmate wasn’t born yet, then the older soulmate would not have an abnormal body temperature until the younger was born. Yuuri knew the answer he was looking for.

“Since I was four,” he said softly. “I’m four years older than my soulmate. I know what day my soulmate was born, as well. My mother had made sure to write the date I complained of being cold somewhere I could remember it when I grew up.”

 _He’s 27. You’re 23. That’s four years._ He told himself. He looked at his hand, still in Viktors. He suppressed the urge to pull his hand away, keep everything the same, and continue skating. He couldn’t. Viktor changed his grip on Yuuri’s hand, and started pulling him off the ice.

“Let’s get off the ice for a moment, Yuuri. We can take a break.” He nodded.

Viktor let Yuuri release his hand as he sat down on a bench, and he left to get water for the both of them. When he got back, he sat next to Yuuri tentatively. Yuuri took a big sip of water then knew he had to say something. “How long?”

“Hmm?”

“How long have you known?” He heard Viktor suck in breath, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at him. Then he heard Viktor laugh, and forced himself to look.

“I should be asking you that. You kept me waiting long enough. I was starting to think I was completely wrong.” Viktor moved closer, only a little. “I kept trying to drop hints or figure out if you felt the same by my touch.”

“But how long have you known?” Yuuri asked again.

“It’s a secret.”

“This whole time?”

“Secret.”

Yuuri let himself be glad that Viktor wasn’t saying how long it had been that he was hurting him. He didn’t want to know. He took ahold of Viktors hand again, letting the feeling of cold overcome his cold body. He wasn’t looking directly at Viktor, but he knew that he was also looking at their hands.

“Yuuri.” Viktor waited for Yuuri to look at him. “I want to hear you say it.”

Yuuri blushed, hard. “W-We’re soulmates.” He said too quietly for anyone but him to hear. He saw Viktor’s eyebrows raise in expectation. He spoke louder. “We’re soulmates.”

Viktor smiled, a wide smile that Yuuri hadn’t seen before. It was like he was a child who just had their dream come true. “Say it again.”

“No. You heard me, we’re not doing this.”

Viktor’s head sunk into the crook of Yuuri’s neck. “Please?”

“No, it’s embarrassing.”

“No it’s not. We’re soulmates. See? Nothing embarrassing about that.”

Yuuri was suddenly aware that his body wasn’t overly warm anymore. He was slowly cooling down to a normal temperature, as Viktor’s hand in his and face against his neck stopped feeling strange. He had no idea how long they sat like that, in a silence as they were together. He focused on the feeling of Viktors breath against his neck, aware that Viktor had closed his eyes at some point.

“Viktor?” Yuuri questioned. He got a ‘mmm’ in response. So he was awake. “That can’t be a comfortable position.”

“I’m trying to think of something I heard some girls joking about in school. Something about how stars need heat or they will collapse, and somehow it got to being about how you’re a star.” Viktor pulled his head off Yuuri’s shoulder, and Yuuri missed the feeling of it being there already.

“You’re horrible at flirting.”

“But you recognized it as a flirt, that’s a good sign.” Yuuri laughed, and Viktor joined him. “So what are we doing? Are we going to finish practice today?”

“You’re the coach, you decide.”

“Well then, I declare this day to be a national holiday. No more practice today.” Viktor stood up suddenly, and pulled Yuuri off the bench. “How would you like to spend this national holiday, my dear Yuuri?”

“At home, in bed.”

Viktor made a buzzer sound. “Wrong! Try again.”

“At home, asleep in bed.”

“You are the worst soulmate.” Viktor mumbled in defeat. Yuuri smiled, and they ended up going back to the Katsuki household and taking the dogs for a walk on the beach. Yuuri enjoyed himself, and the weight of guilt was lifted off his shoulders. At one point, they stopped and sat down to watch the sunset together, and let the dogs wonder a little. By the time the sun was setting, both dogs were at their side and lying down waiting to leave. Yuuri thought it was perfect. He spun around where he was sitting and prompted Viktor to do the same, and pulled out his phone.

“We’re going to take a picture with the dogs and the sunset.” He declared. Viktor’s eyes widened.

“You, the only skater in last year’s GPF to not share one picture on any social media during your time there, are going to take a picture.” Viktor teased.

“It’s for Phichit. He wanted more pictures.”

They got into a position where they were both in the middle of the picture, with the dogs in the background, one lying down with his head toward them and the other sitting nicely facing the sunset. He snapped 3 pictures in a row, just in case his hands were shaking and one came out bad. Viktor took his phone from him after those pictures and made Yuuri stay in place for one more. He obliged, and waited as Viktor held the phone out to get the same angle as the other pictures, then put his other hand under Yuuri’s chin (an action that Yuuri noted as something Viktor liked to do) and kissed him on the cheek just as he pressed the button to take the picture. Yuuri sat in shock, wondering what just happened. Viktor was looking through the pictures, commenting on how cute they were and sending them to himself, while Yuuri couldn’t find any words. His face was a bright red by then and betraying him by not letting him do anything but smile.

“So, which one of us is posting that picture?” Viktor asked, and Yuuri collected himself.

“W-Which picture?”

Viktor was obviously amused by the question. “The first one, unless you want to post the second one. I just wanted that picture for us.”

“Are we keeping this secret?” Yuuri cautiously questioned. Viktors expression didn’t change.

“Keep what a secret?” Viktor teased. Yuuri just glared, making him laugh. “Do you want to keep this a secret?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then let’s only tell people who we trust to keep it under wrap for now, until you’re comfortable with it.” Viktor handed Yuuri back his phone. “But I’ve decided for you that you’re posting the picture. I already deleted the copies and left the best one, so all you have to do is post it.”

“Okay.” Yuuri opened up Instagram for the first time in months, and the first thing that he saw was a picture from a Viktor fan-account that he had followed a while back. He knew that Viktor was looking over his shoulder, and panicked trying to get it off the screen. Viktor was trying not to laugh.

“Wait, let me play with filters and edit it a little.” Viktor said when Yuuri was about to post it. He took the phone and gave it back not long later, and the picture looked the same to Yuuri.

“What do you want the caption to be?”

“Lovely night to be with the boyfriend and the dogs!” Viktor joked, and Yuuri stuttered. _Boyfriend_ , the word repeated throughout his mind in an echo. “I’m kidding, you decide.”

Yuuri had to think, which was hard because his mind kept going back to ‘boyfriend’, but ended up just putting ‘@phichit+chu requested more pictures from me’, and hit the post button. Viktor laughed.

“Subtle, really gives off the indifference you feel toward Instagram,” He said, then pulled his phone out, liked it, and commented a heart emoji. “You already have over 70 likes, I thought I was going to be the first one.”

“Really?”

“Instagram sends a notification out when someone you follow posts for the first time in a while, I guess everyone got that.”

They gathered the dogs and walked home, and Yuuri found himself staring at the pictures they took until he fell asleep, ending what he decided was the best day of his life.

 

[image]

2,043 likes

 **katsuki-yuri** _@phichit+chu_ requested more pictures from me

 

view all 738 comments

 **v-nikiforov** <3

 **phichit+chu** OMG YOUR FIRST PICTURE IN FOREVER AND ITS ##GOALS

 **yuuri_fanclub** thank you _@phichit+chu_

 **phichit+chu** _@yuuri_fanclub_ np, just doing my civic duty

 **tobasihu** #victuuri !!!!! <3

 **v-nikiforov** _@tobasihu_ aw that’s cute

 **skatefan19** _@tobasihu @v-nikiforov_ WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 **christophe-ge** _@v-nikiforov_ gold star for patience ;)

 **katsuki-yuri** _@v-nikiforov @skatefan19 @tobasihu_ it means i’m never posting again

 **phichit+chu** _@katsuki-yuri @v-nikiforov @skatefan19 @tobasihu_ I’ll see about that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for this to get real Gay™


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly if u wanted u could skip this chapter there's nothing new just moving the plot forward.

The day that Yuuri’s free skate music was finished and he got to hear it for the first time was also the day he decided to make a very important change. After letting Viktor hear it and both of them taking a little while to go over choreography, Viktor noticed something different and asked about it.

“Yuuri, did you change your theme? What is it?”

He hesitated, but didn’t know why. He knew it shouldn’t be embarrassing, since they were soulmates, but it was. “The theme is ‘on my love’”

Viktor smirked, making Yuuri blush. “That’s the best theme.” The firmness in Viktors voice calmed Yuuri’s heart

 

The rest of the time before the start of competitions went by fast. Yuuri and Viktor continued practicing hard, often from the start of the day to the end (with reasonable breaks for lunch/dinner dates). When they weren’t on the ice, they were usually talking about skating, or some aspect of skating. Yuuri’s favorite thing was to ask Viktor about some of the other skaters he might see at the GPF. Apparently Chris was once a ‘little boy running through the Swiss meadows’, but Yuuri had a hard time thinking of him as something so innocent. Since he was someone who didn’t really pay much attention to competitors other than Viktor before then, Yuuri found Viktor’s (somewhat useful) insight on them to be a good thing. He always hated how he couldn’t even work up the nerve to talk to the other skaters at competitions, but with Viktor- the one person who he feared talking to the most all these years, at his side, he had decided that this year would be different. Not only that, but he was changing the way he felt about physical contact with others. Or, working on it at least. Viktor’s clingy nature helped, since he was always being bombarded with hugs and having his hand held at every opportunity.

His mother had all but adopted Viktor into the family. Especially after they confessed to being soulmates to everyone at the Katsuki household plus Minako, his sweet mother loved Viktor. Apparently Mari and Minako had a betting pool going, and when Viktor happily (and extravagantly) told them that they were matched, Minako his cheered louder than everyone, and Mari groaned. At first, Yuuri was slightly offended by Mari’s reaction, but then he saw her handing Minako some money and learned the truth. Every time Minako saw something that made her think they were soulmates, she added money to the bet, and every time Mari saw something that made her think they weren’t, she added money. Mari confessed to knowing that it was a losing game to bet against, but she couldn’t resist a bet. Most of the money in the betting pool was Minako’s to get back, anyway.

Besides his family, they also told Yuuko, Takeshi, and Phichit. Or, they all figured it out themselves. Yuuko and Takeshi noticed the change in the way they act together, and as soulmates themselves, it was obvious. Phichit found out because one day Yuuri was video calling him and Viktor walked in and started clinging on reflex while talking. Yuuri traded dog photos to keep his mouth shut. Viktor claimed he didn’t have anyone he needed to tell right away, but Yuuri was pretty sure he told Chris on accident, seeing that Viktor couldn’t keep a secret.

Above all, Yuuri had to get used to not having an overly warm body temperature. It was strange to be able to exercise outside, such as his morning runs with Vicchan, without feeling like death itself. He wasn’t the only one adjusting. Viktor never said anything about it, but Yuuri noticed him wearing his coat a lot less. He began to wonder which would be harder, a Cold or a Hot adjusting to finding their match.

 

When it came time for Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championship, Yuuri was at an odd calm. Everything had gone right the morning of, and he got there on time, with lots of time to prepare himself mentally and physically. He had time on the ice, practicing his jumps one last time before the crowds began to form, and ran into a couple of the other skaters. Very brief conversations were exchanged. On his mind was only one thing: where was Viktor? No one he asked had known anything, and he was starting to get worried.

That was, until he showed up in a suit that Yuuri hadn’t even realised he owned. He stood out more than anyone in the crowd, with his silver hair, pale skin, and formal dress. Yuuri hated to admit that he liked it. The fact that the man everyone in the skating community admired, for either his looks or his talent, was his partner was something will always make Yuuri happy. He felt like a fairy tale princess, getting the prince that everyone wanted.

 

Yuuri was skating first. He hated skating first. He was nervous but also not, it was a weird mixture of the two that made him actually feel okay. He already knew that this competition would be the easiest one of the year, so there wouldn’t be much to stress about.

As the other skaters left the ice, leaving Yuuri alone, he skated to the wall where Viktor was stationed for some water. Viktor looked like he had his mind set on something, which was never a good sign.

“Yuuri, turn around.”

“What?”

“Just do it.”

Yuuri obliged, while maintaining a questioning look on his face. Viktor then wrapped his arms around his upper body, pulling him backwards (almost making him fall) into an embrace. Yuuri was sent into panic mode as his heart beat faster, and held back from whispering ‘ _Viktor we’re in public’_ , because he knew that Viktor realised what he was doing.

“Seduce me with all you have, Yuuri. Charm the audience as if you were charming me,” Viktor said in a low voice beside his ear.

Strangely, it helped Yuuri. He skated with Viktor in his mind. Every move he made, he thought of him. He was the embodiment of a pork cutlet bowl, and he knew he enthralled everyone. When he finished, he was proud of his score. It wasn’t a performance to Viktor’s standards, but it was successful. He ended up going from one interview to the next after his skates were removed. It wasn’t too uncommon for him, what was uncommon was the younger skater who approached him, asking if he had seen his performance. When Yuuri replied to the negative, the conversation went downhill fast.

“I’m going to give tomorrow’s free skate everything I’ve got!” The young skater, Minami exclaimed. “Please give it all you’ve got too! I won’t forgive you if you slack off!”

The reporters ate up the exchange, passionately talking about the challenge that Minami, the skater who won Nationals, had placed on Yuuri. Yuuri didn’t know what to say, and a glance at Viktor told him nothing either. His soulmate’s expression was blank. Although, Yuuri realised that was because Viktor had no idea what was going on, seeing as though he understood limited Japanese. He finished the interview quick and dragged Viktor away from everyone.

“Yuuri? What was all the yelling earlier about? It seemed to rile up the reporters too,” Viktor asked. “You didn’t do something stupid, did you?”

“I, well, no?”

“Oh?”

“I just might have said the wrong thing to Minami, the other skater that was there, who happens to be a fan of mine. And he issued a ‘challenge’” He held up air quotes when he said challenge. It was only one to the media, anyway. “He told me not to slack off tomorrow.”

“Huh. I still suggest lowering the difficulty in this competition. There’s no need to worry about getting a really high score.” Viktor advised. Yuuri knew he was right, but was conflicted. He didn’t want to hurt Minami’s feelings by slacking off. He didn’t argue though, as Viktor had already changed the subject to dinner, and they left the building.

 

The next day, the both of them arrived slightly later than they were planning due to discussing how Yuuri could lower the difficulty. He agreed to only doing one quad, but that made him feel guilty. When he overheard three other skaters, including Minami, talking about how they were going to attempt quads, it only worsened his guilt. He was slacking off.

He and Viktor were standing by Minami waiting for the warm up. Minami was glowing with excitement, and looked toward Yuuri to get even more psyched up, but Yuuri couldn’t stand looking at him. He knew that all he was going to do was disappoint the younger skater, and it killed him. He left for the warm up without saying a word, and when he returned, Viktor was mad at him.

“Viktor-“

“How can a person who can’t motivate others motivate themselves?” Viktor stood up straight from his postion of leaning against the wall to the rink. “I’m disappointed in you.” He stormed off, and Yuuri stood in shock. He knew he messed up, he realised that ignoring Minami was a horrible thing to do, but it just hurt too much to break the boy’s heart by only doing one quad. Yuuri never really had to experience hurting others feelings, due to his usually passive nature, so he didn’t know how to deal with it. And now, he was having his first fight with his soulmate. He felt lost, and in his panic realsied he had lost all motivation to skate.

 _I have to fix this_ , Yuuri thought _. I can’t leave things like this. I can’t let myself lose my soulmate like this._

He snapped out of his daze and looked around the rink. Minami was already taking the ice for his free skate. Yuuri’s heart dropped, it was too late to make this right. He began to accept his fate, but the cheering of some fans around him made him think of what he could do. He quickly got to the wall of the rink.

“Minami, good luck!” He yelled as loud as he could. From the skaters reaction, he knew he heard it. Satisfied with himself, Yuuri stayed for around half the performance before he left to find peace and quiet. He had one last problem to fix: his lost motivation.

 

He didn’t find motivation. He instead found determination. He was determined to do the original plan of high difficulty jumps as a final step to make things right with Minami. He hoped that in doing so, Viktor would forgive him, even though he was disobeying what Viktor said to do.

Although, when he walked back to the ice, he learned that he had nothing to worry about in terms of Viktor forgiving him. Viktor was at the gate to be let into the ice, waiting for him as if nothing had happened. Yuuri didn’t let himself smile in relief, he didn’t want to lose his resolve. He let Viktor shower him in compliments for his free program costume, and was only taken aback slightly when Viktor invaded his personal space to apply chapstick to his lips. He was embarrassed, sure, but he didn’t want to show that around Minami, or anyone else for that matter.

The second he stepped onto the ice, his mind went blank. He just wanted everything to be okay, for everything to turn out right in the end. He remembered one thing about that performance, and that was slamming his face into a wall after a flubbed jump. After the song ended, he looked toward Viktor, and tried to read his expression, but he was too blind. What he did see was Viktor slowly reach out his arms, as if waiting for a hug. He almost started crying, then and there.

Then Viktor let him fall to the ground instead of a hug, due to the blood from his impact on the wall. Yuuri knew he deserved that.

They went home, happy and ready for the next competition, the Cup of China. They made the decision to suspend practice most days so that they could hang out with Vicchan and Makkachin before they had to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so hard to write bc it was really hard to not just be plot summary but ehhh I couldn't leave out the first competition and Viktor being mad at Yuuri so??? sorry next chapter is more fun i promise ;) i have plannnns
> 
> thank you for all the love and support!!! next chapter is almost done already so maybe ill post it by sunday?


	7. Chapter 7

“Yuuri, look at this,” Viktor said, and Yuuri turned to see what he was talking about. He was holding his phone so they could both see it, and it was open to an article titled: ‘Top 10 Hottest Bachlelors in the Skating Community’. “They listed me as number one on the list-“

“No surprise there.” Yuuri joked. Viktor nudged him with his shoulder.

“Buuuuut, guess who’s number 9?” He scrolled down, and Yuuri’s face suddenly filled the screen. He was taken aback.

“I made the list?”

“You act like you aren’t hot,” Viktor said. Yuuri mumbled a sarcastic ‘not anymore’, but he didn’t think Viktor heard him, so he just took the phone from him so he could read the description.

_Yuuri Katsuki, a late-bloomer in skating who started skating competitively in the senior division, participated in the Grand Prix Final of last year and received 6 th place. He is from Hasetsu, Japan and has been skating since he was 5 years old. As of April, Viktor Nikiforov (our #1 on the list) has been living in Hasetsu with Yuuri, working as his coach on a year break from skating. Yuuri unveiled a new side of him with his performances of On Love: Eros and Yuri on Ice, skating under the theme of ‘Love’, and as far as anyone knows, he’s totally available!_

Yuuri held back a laugh. “Where did you find this?”

“Chris sent it to me,” Viktor replied, and exited out of the internet browser to show him the text. He noticed first that Chris’s contact name was Swissy Chrissy. He chose to ignore it. The text read ‘both u and ur boyfriend r here’ and had the link below it.

“I thought you said you didn’t tell Chris we’re soulmates.”

“I didn’t, he’s been calling you that since…” Viktor trailed off. “Well, it’s been a while, but I never said we were matched. Oh, by the way,”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while, but are you okay with being referred to using ‘boyfriend’? Or would you prefer a neutral term?” Viktor asked.

“Viktor, how long have we known we’re soulmates?”

“Time doesn’t matter when I’m with you.”

Yuuri was impressed by how fast he thought of that flirt, but he couldn’t let this go.

“You’ve referred to me as ‘boyfriend’ before, anyway?” Yuuri said, and Viktor shook his head.

“I’ve always called you my soulmate, or something like that. If I said boyfriend, it was because I changed the sentence to call myself your boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Yuuri looked away from Viktor. “I think… I’d prefer a more neutral way, if that’s okay.”

Viktor didn’t say anything, and Yuuri got worried that he didn’t want to do that, or that something was wrong. But then, Viktor said, “My beloved partner.”

Yuuri had to refrain from screaming, since they were on a plane headed to China, and screaming would be rude to the other people around them. He realised that he was making an embarrassing face that Viktor was laughing at, so he went back to looking out the window to the ocean below. He managed to get a window seat (his favorite type) with Viktor was beside him, and for the most part, the seats around them were empty. Viktor had insisted on buying the same seat type as Yuuri instead of flying first class like he usually did, but to compensate for the lack of comfort, he paid for inflight internet access. Yuuri just tried to sleep.

 

When the plane landed was when Yuuri woke up, only to find Viktor asleep on his shoulder. How the landing didn’t wake the Russian up, Yuuri had no idea, but he took his chance. He reached for his phone with the arm that wasn’t being used as a pillow, and he snapped a selfie for Phichit. When he had made sure that the picture looked fine, he woke Viktor up.

“Viktor, we’re in Beijing.”

He heard a mumble in reply, and Viktor got up to grab their luggage from the top containers. While they waited for the passengers in front of them to get off, Viktor pulled out his phone from his pocket. “Look at this picture I took.”

The picture was a selfie of Viktor, with Yuuri asleep against the window, his blanket covering most his body except his head. Yuuri laughed, which earned a confused look from Viktor. He opened his phone to the picture he took of Viktor asleep on his shoulder. They both started laughed over the fact that they both thought to take pictures like that, and Viktor suggested they both post the pictures on Instagram at the same time.

 

[image]

12902 likes

 **v-nikiforov** _@katsuki-yuri_ was sleepy on the plane to Beijing!

 

View all 3721 comments

 **skater1092** omg so cute!!!

 **christophe-ge** see u in Beijing ;)

 **yuri-plisetski** im glad im not assigned to the cup of china

 **victorfanclub** #VICTUURI

 **v-nikiforov** _@yuri-plisetsky_ don’t worry, we get to see each other in Moscow!!

 **yuri-plisetsky** _@v-nikiforov_ i wasnt worried

 

 

[image]

8368 likes

 **katsuki-yuri** _@v-nikiforov_ was sleepy on the plane to Beijing!

 

View all 2009 comments

 **phichit+chu** OMG _@katsuki-yuri_ ARE YOU HERE YET HMU FAM

 **katsufan** WHAT IS THE TRUTH

 **tobiocham** _@katsufan_ what do u mean by truth

 **katsufan** _@tobiocham_ victor posted a picture of yuuri sleeping on the plane too with thr same caption

 **skategod** #VICTUURI #VICTUURI #VICTUURI

 

By the time they reached their hotel, the posts had exploded and Yuuri had missed three (3) calls from Phichit. He had left a voicemail on the very last one (which was just a very long and drawn out “Yuuuuuuuuuri”), but Yuuri had business to attend to before he could play.

Then he forgot.

When Viktor took him out to eat, Yuuri remembered and texted Phichit apologizing for not responding, but didn’t get a response back. A couple minutes later he checked his phone, and it said the message was read. He looked at Viktor, who was happily ordering for them. “I think I made Phichit mad at me.” He said.

Viktor acknowledged Yuuri with a hum, but didn’t say anything more until he pointed at the door. Yuuri turned around in his seat to look, and saw Phichit standing there, scanning the restaurant. Yuuri glanced back at Viktor.

“Did you tell him we were here?” He asked, and Viktor smiled.

“He said he got the location from your text, since you keep location services on. All he got from me was permission to crash the date.” By the time Viktor finished talking, Phichit had found them and ran over.

 “Oh, Yuuri! So this is where you were eating! Talk about coincidence.” His friend said, completely innocent. He greeted Viktor as well.

“Wow, what a _surprise_ ,” Yuuri said, letting the sarcasm drip from the last word. Phichit feigned shock.

“Are you accusing me of knowing you were here and coming to see you?” Phichit put his hand over his heart and looked away dramatically. Yuuri took that moment to get a good look at his friend. Phichit was wearing less layers than most other people in the restaurant, probably due to him being a Hot, and he looked exactly the same size-wise as the last time Yuuri was with him. He caught Phichit break his act by smiling. “I’m hurt, Yuuri. Hurt. For that, I’m inviting Ciao Ciao.”

 

Ciao Ciao was the first to be invited, then the Chinese and American skaters as well. But they showed up too late, and missed Ciao Ciao drink until he passed out and Viktor drink until he was drunk. The two skaters came in holding hands, and both seemed equally mortified by the scene, since drunk Viktor was clinging to Yuuri with very little clothes left on. Phichit leaned over and whispered to Yuuri, “Guang-Hong and Leo found out they were soulmates during Skate America, isn’t that cute? The podium holders all held hands for one picture and that’s how they found out.” Yuuri smiled. Their story was a lot nicer than months of denial and romantic-tension.

They ended up having to call it a night, as they all had to skate the next day and Viktor was running out of clothes to strip. Phichit and the other two had to help Ciao Ciao back to the hotel, which left Yuuri with Viktor. He found Viktor’s shirt and pants, and forced him to put them on, then dragged him back to the hotel room. He left Viktor on his bed for one second as he changed into something more comfortable to sleep in, and he returned to him whining about Yuuri leaving him.

 _My soulmate is a child_ , Yuuri thought. He also noticed the two twin sized beds were at some point pushed together, but he didn’t remember either of them doing it. He didn’t question it. Instead, he let drunk Viktor cuddle him until they both fell asleep, and he pretended to not hear Viktor mumble “I love you” after they said goodnight to each other, and hoped Viktor didn’t notice his heart beat quicken from those words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao my plan was to write a but more for this chapter but i got addicted to an old game i used to play and oops didnt write. next chapter will maybe be longer now idk when it'll be done though


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter i've ever written at 5,166 words and i love it

On the day of the first short program Yuuri would have to do during the year’s Grand Prix Final, Yuuri woke feeling that fact all over. His heart throbbed, partially due to excitement but mainly because his nerves were through the roof. His legs and feet felt sore already, the ghost of the feeling he would have after tomorrow, if not that night. Viktor, still clinging to his side and fast asleep, was a constant reminder of the expectations on him. Sure, he could shove those expectations to the back of his mind in order to enjoy time with Viktor, but that didn’t make them go away. The 5-time gold medalist, who was not skating despite everyone wanting him to, because of _him_. Even if he tried to sugarcoat that with the fact that they’re soulmates, it still hit hard. He had to be serious, not just for himself, but for the Nishigori’s, his family, Phichit, and most importantly, for Viktor.

He had to perform for Viktor in front of the largest crowd yet this season. Every eye focused on him, people in the stadium and watching on TV. He untangled himself from Viktor’s grasp, while careful not to wake the sleeping beauty. When he was successfully free, he took a moment to just look at him. The light coming in from the window was little, a small sliver that was just off Viktor’s face. His hair was disheveled, with the part ruined to make his bangs be all over his face. His clothes her a mess as well. Yuuri realised that when he helped drunk Viktor into his shirt last night, he had put it on backwards. It was wrinkled from being slept in, and he bottom was lifted slightly showing a slight amount of abdomen where the blanket had not covered him. His pants were obviously loose without a belt, which had mysteriously disappeared the night before. The whole scene looked… normal. He didn’t look like a famous ice skater, like a person who was on the top of a #1 bachelor list. He looked like Viktor. Yuuri’s Viktor.

_Viktor isn’t perfect_ , Yuuri’s mind told him.

Too bad his heart told him that he had to be.

He go out of bed and dressed in the little amount of light there was, afraid to turn on the overhead light or a lamp and wake up Viktor, who would surely be hungover. It was still very early in the morning, too early to think about skating or eating or doing anything. He thought about calling Phichit, who would probably be awake and wouldn’t get angry for him asking for comfort before the competition, but decided against it. Phichit was one of the few people who seemed to understand his anxiety and know how to deal with it, but he didn’t want to bother other people, especially not a fellow contestant. He grabbed a room key and slid out of the room. He didn’t have any idea of where he was going, couldn’t speak any Chinese, and was highly strung up due to anxiety. _This is going to go fine_ , he thought as he left the hotel and began walking in a random direction. He ended up at a grassy area next to a river. There was only a couple of other people scattered about the area, so he found a bench without anyone already sitting in it and tried to relax. He couldn’t, but it was worth the shot.

He lost track of how long he sat there, watching people walk by or the water of the river rushing downstream. He finally decided he had been away from everything and everyone for long enough, and was calmed to the point in which he felt he could face Viktor and not burst into tears, so he stood up and felt in his pocket for his phone. It wasn’t there. He checked every pocket he had, then asked a passerby in English what the time was. He had been away from the hotel for an hour and a half, without telling anyone where he was going or bringing a phone. He refused to let himself freak out. Instead, he began to walk back in the direction opposite to which he came, mostly at a normal pace if not faster, while looking at the shops he passed by to make sure he recognised them. His memory didn’t fail him, and he made it back to the hotel safely.

The second he opened the door to the room, he was enveloped in a hug. The first thing he saw was the flash of silver hair, which his mind registered after a moment as Viktor.

“Yuuuuuri,” Viktor said, his face buried in Yuuri’s neck. “I was so worried. You were gone when I woke up, and I tried calling your phone but you left it behind!”

Yuuri, still not feeling 100% up to dealing with other people including his soulmate, took hold of Viktor’s arms and pushed him off. “Sorry, I needed some air, and didn’t want to wake you.”

Viktor looked hurt. “You still could have bought your phone, what if something happened? Or left a note before you left… You’ve been away for so long; I started to think something happened.”

Yuuri let that sink in. He realised he had been functioning under the way he had been with Celestino as his coach, where he knew Celestino wouldn’t worry about him if he was gone for long periods of time, since they either weren’t sharing a room so he would never know, or he was used to it. Viktor, on the other hand, had never been with him at competition. Yuuri never sat down with him and explained his anxiety, how he might act under the extreme stress or before something as major as this. But that wasn’t the only thing that stuck with him, he also kept thinking about how Viktor cared. He had someone in his life that would notice his absence and worry over him. He let his hands fall to his side, and he stared at the ground, unable to look at Viktor. “Sorry.”

“You already apologised, its okay. I shouldn’t have worried about you as much, since I know you can take care of yourself.” Viktor said, making Yuuri wince slightly. He liked Viktor worrying over him but hated making Viktor worry.

“I- I just wanted to be alone for a while, I didn’t think I’d be gone for so long.” Yuuri replied, quietly. He looked up at Viktor’s face when he said it, and noticed the change in expression from a seemly normal one to a softer look.

“No, its fine,” Viktor stepped aside as Yuuri pushed past him to walk to the bedside table, where his phone was. “Are you, uh, okay?”

There were no messages on his phone, except an event reminder that said ‘Cup of China – Day 1’. Yuuri put his phone back down. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous.”

“Are you sure? If theres anything-“

“Really, I’m fine.” Yuuri cut him off quickly. His brain screamed at him, telling him to tell the truth, how he wasn’t fine at all. But he didn’t, and the conversation trailed off.

“Well,” Viktor said after a moment. “Phichit called, I didn’t know if I should let it ring or not, so I picked up. He wanted to apologise for something.”

“Apologise?”

He picked up the phone again and texted Phichit, not feeling up for talking on the phone. He got a text back almost instantly.

‘yeah sorry!!! i loved the picture so much so I posted it last night but I realise now how it might look and if u want me to take it down I will!!!’

He let out a sigh and checked Instagram, where he found he picture Phichit had last posted. It was himself and (mostly naked) Viktor clinging to him, with Phichit in the foreground. He felt Viktor come up to hover over his shoulder, so he tilted his phone so he could see too. Viktor chuckled.

“That’s a cute picture!” He exclaimed, then reached over Yuuri’s shoulder and double tapped it for him, making him like it.

“You don’t care that you’re not wearing clothes in it?”

“It doesn’t show anything bad, does it?”

Yuuri hummed in acknowledgement, and didn’t voice his concerns about how people might take the picture. It was too late anyway, taking the picture down would make any backlash worse. He texted Phichit that it was fine, and Viktor took him out for breakfast. 

 

They made it to the rink for competition at a good time. Yuuri was running on autopilot at that point already, so he let Viktor do most of the talking while he spaced out. At one point, Phichit greeted him excitedly, but he didn’t feel up to a conversation. Phichit seemed to realise this, and left him alone without looking hurt at all. All Yuuri wanted to do was take Viktor by the hand, run away, and never look back. But he knew that was his anxiety talking.

Nothing caught his attention until there was a hand on his ass. At first, he felt offended and shocked, and was afraid to turn around to see who it was, but then he heard the voice of Chris Giacometti, and put the pieces into place. Chris, from what he has observed or heard from Viktor, was a very… sexual person who didn’t care much for what others thought about him. Yuuri, while surprised over the hand on his ass since they hadn’t really talked much beforehand, couldn’t honestly say he didn’t expect something like this. He assumed the suddenness of the action was because of him being with Viktor.

“Oh, Chris, hello.” Yuuri mumbled. He managed a smile, which Chris returned easily.

“You’ve gotten in shape, where’s your master?” Chris asked.

“Uh…” Yuuri looked around, ignoring the ‘master’ comment, and realised he had been spacing out and had no idea where Viktor went off to. “I don’t kn-“

“Chris!” Viktor called from Yuuri’s side. He turned to look at the direction his voice had come from. Sure enough, Viktor had materialised next to him. Yuuri felt the hand disappear from its spot on his butt, he had forgotten to tell Chris to take it off. “How have you been?”

Yuuri went back to zoning out completely, and let Chris and Viktor talk for a bit. He only started paying attention when Chris nudged his side, and Viktor had walked away to talk to some girls.

“They’re stealing your man from you, unless you aren’t actually trying to keep him from the world.” Chris whispered, far closer to Yuuri’s ear than he would have preferred. He knew that Chris was joking, in a weird suggestive way, but the words still hit hard. He had the person of his dreams, not only as a coach but as a partner, and he had to be okay with the world not knowing. He had to be okay with seeing other people fawn over him as the #1 bachelor in skating. People everywhere still saw both of them as still looking for their soulmates.

That fact bothered Yuuri more than he thought it did.

He snapped out of his daze and decided he had to change things. He had to show the whole world his love, and to do that, he had to be ready for his turn to skate. He found an area that didn’t have as many people, especially reporters, and begun his warm-up routine. Even with headphones in, he could tell how long he had by the cheers in the rink. He missed Phichit and Guang-Hong’s performances, but didn’t let that get to him. Sure, he liked to be able to watch the other competitors live, but at the moment, he only wanted to focus on himself.

Viktor interrupted not long before his turn, telling him that they should head over to the rink side for final preparations. He obeyed silently, let Viktor help him into his skates, and got on the ice once it was time.

“Yuuri,” Viktor began his pre-skate coach speech. “I don’t have to tell you to seduce me with all you have, right? Your personal charm is enough for this routine.”

Yuuri nodded slowly. Of course he knew that much by this point in the Grand Prix Final, but it was nice to hear it from Viktor. However, he didn’t want to leave it at that. He remembered the first time Yuuri skated publicly with Viktor as his coach, how Viktor hugged him from behind without caring what the reporters saw. He felt the need to do something like that, to claim Viktor even more in front of the world. He moved his head closer to Viktor’s, trying not to hesitate since he still wasn’t used to initiating contact with other people, and pressed their foreheads together. “Don’t take your eyes off me.”

He didn’t wait for a response. He left and got into position. While waiting for the music to start, he ran that interaction over and over in his head. _That wasn’t too selfish of me, right?_ He thought. _That wasn’t too much to ask of Viktor, he is my coach and soulmate._ He let his thoughts run wild until finally the first note started, and his mind went blank besides thinking about what jumps he had to do. The performance was all muscle memory and love. From the time he started to the time he finished, couldn’t remember much.

He got off the ice to Viktor, who had run up to him and hugged him tightly. They walked over to the kiss and cry, and got Yuuri’s (very high) score, but Yuuri couldn’t pay attention to anything or anyone. Upon his request, they ditched the rink and went for a walk, and ended up at the hotel around the same time the male solo portion of the Cup of China was over. He was throwing his jacket on the closest bed when he heard Viktor call out to him.

“Yuuri, look! You’re in first place!”

Yuuri glanced at the phone in Viktor’s hand, only to confirm what he said, then shattered completely. No longer was he in a dazed state, but instead he was panicking completely. He sank down to the bed, sitting on his jacket accidentally, and struggled to breathe normally. Viktor, who must have realised that showing Yuuri the results was a very bad idea, ran to get Yuuri a glass of water, which was placed next to him on the bedside table while Viktor took Yuuri’s hands in his own and rubbed small circles on the back using his thumb.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said, more times than Yuuri could count. “I shouldn’t have showed you that. Placements don’t matter, all that matters is you skating to the best you can. How about we go to bed early tonight, okay?”

Yuuri nodded, and once he was calmer, got up to change into his pajamas. The beds were still pushed together, so the second he laid down on the one that was originally his own, Viktor’s comforting arms were wrapped around him, and despite not being tired and it being far too early for bed, he fell asleep quickly and stayed asleep all night.

 

Yuuri woke up, having slept over 12 hours, insanely tired. He wanted to stay in bed all day, forget everything and call it a lazy day, but his mind loudly reminded him of the competition. How he had to do good in order to qualify. How he was in first place with huge expectations. He let out a long sigh and turned to his side, and only then he realised there was a weight missing. His eyes popped open and confirmed that Viktor was missing from his side. He was suddenly motivated to get up, which he did with a grunt. His legs were already sore from yesterday, something he expected from past experience but still hoped every time that it wouldn’t happen. Like always, he just walked it off while searching the hotel room for signs of Viktor. He wasn’t anywhere and there was no note left saying he was going somewhere, so then Yuuri checked his phone. Still, there were no messages. He remembered how distraught Viktor had been when he left without telling Viktor the morning before, and decided he was going to lecture Viktor on practicing what he preached when he saw him next. Although from his phone he did happen notice how late it was. He had 2 hours before he had to be at the rink for the free skate. _Why didn’t Viktor wake me up earlier?_

He rushed to get dressed, and found his bag neatly packed with his skating gear sitting towards the door. Only then did he find a note from Viktor: _If you wake up and I’m gone, I’m out with Chris. I promise I’ll be back soon!_

Yuuri felt himself calm down slightly, but still felt as if he should rush to the rink. He sunk back into the bed and checked Instagram. Phichit had posted a lot of pictures during the events of yesterday, and there was even a picture of the two of them that Yuuri didn’t remember taking captioned “not going easy on you tomorrow!”

He heard the lock of the door click and jumped when it opened. Viktor smiled when he walked into the room and saw Yuuri awake. “Good morning, my sweet angel. I didn’t want to wake you this morning, since you were sleeping so peacefully and you needed rest. Have you eaten anything?” He held up a bag and wiggled it slightly.

“I wish you had, I don’t like being this late. You know that,” Yuuri said, but couldn’t be mad because there was food and he hadn’t realised how hungry he was. He pointed to the clock. “We have to be at the rink in a little over an hour.”

“Exactly. We aren’t late and won’t be.”

By the time Yuuri had eaten and Viktor double checked that they had everything, they had half an hour left. Viktor was right, they did make it on time, but Yuuri still had an uncomfortable feeling over how close they were cutting it to being late. Viktor’s logic seemed to be “You’re skating last anyway, so it doesn’t matter if we aren’t there for the beginning. What are they going to do, not let you skate?”

 

The second that Yuuri took a step into the bustling skating rink, he felt the dread of performing. He took Viktor’s arm in his hand, holding him by elbow and letting him guide him to where they needed to be. He couldn’t comprehend anything. At one point, some reporters tried to get a word in, but even they realised they needed to give Yuuri room to breathe. Yuuri thought about last year, having to go through all of these competitions with his anxiety and being uncomfortably hot due to not having his soulmate yet. He wondered how he ever did it.

“Viktor?” He said quietly. Thankfully, Viktor heard him and hummed in response, having already been looking at him. “Did being a Cold ever get in the way of your performances?”

Viktor looked deep in thought for a moment, and then answered. “Sure it did, when I was first starting out if anything. Being a Cold in Russian winter isn’t a fun thing for anyone, and adding the temperature of the skating rinks onto that,” Viktor visibly shivered. “Over time, I guess I kind of got used to it? Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking about how being a Hot was horrible.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I didn’t find you quick enough.” Viktor smiled, and Yuuri’s heart fluttered. This was his soulmate. The only person who could truly make him feel better before competition with this much pressure on him. Although, it was short-lived. By the time warm-ups were called, he was shaking horribly and his anxiety was back on full swing. Viktor tried to help him, but saw how bad of a condition he was in, and obviously had no idea what to do.

Long story short: Warm-up’s went horribly and despite Viktor’s attempts and cheerful remarks, Yuuri was terrified that the warm-ups would reflect how he was going to do in his skate.

He put on his trusty headphones and played his favorite songs to calm down. When that didn’t work, Viktor wordlessly dragged him to a different area of the rink, where there was no one around and he could barely hear the music of the other competitors’ performances. He hated that. Sure, listening to the cheers that other people received didn’t make him feel better, but the fear of missing what was going on hurt worse. He pulled his earbuds out and looked around. They were in a parking garage. He had to hand it to Viktor, it was secluded at least.

“Viktor, how are we going to know the current standings here? What if-“ Yuuri started, almost frantic.

“O-Okay, Yuuri. Let’s just take a moment to calm down, I promise you it’s okay if we’re down here. Standings don’t matter right now,”

“But…” Yuuri tried to protest, but Viktor stopped him. They both were silent for a moment and the garage was filled with cheers. Yuuri’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t listen!” Viktor almost yelled. Yuuri jumped at how loud it was, and then proceeded to panic even more. Of all the things that Viktor could have done, raising his voice was one of the worst options. He wondered if Viktor realised that. Neither of them said anything for a moment, which Yuuri took advantage of by trying to get his heartbeat down at least a little bit. He assumed that Viktor was trying to figure out something to say by his expression, and decided to help him.

“We should go, it’s almost time.” He began to walk in the direction he thought they came in from, but didn’t feel Viktor beside him, so he turned. “Viktor?”

“If you miss the podium somehow after your free skate, it will be my fault, not yours. So you-“ Yuuri heard enough. He fell to the ground with his face in his hands, and felt the tears start. He heard Viktor’s footsteps run to him and his arms around his back.

“Why,” Yuuri gasped between sobs, “would you say something like that?”

“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I’m so sorry. I don’t know… I wasn’t serious.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better? You think I don’t know that your name is on the line here too? You think I don’t realise that my failure is reflected on you too?” Yuuri couldn’t stop himself. He was crying and shaking and an overall mess. His voice rose to a yell. “I know that you weren’t serious. Of course I know! But it doesn’t help! I want to skate for you, for both your pride as a coach and because you’re my soulmate!”

He let himself cry, without holding back at all. Viktor looked like he had no idea what to do or say. “I’ve never been good at handling people crying in front of me, what do I do? Kiss you?”

“No! Just stand by me. Be there as my coach, idol, and skater cheering me on! I don’t want a kiss that doesn’t mean anything other than a way to fix a mistake. I want faith. Have faith in me, in my skating, and in my love for you!” Yuuri yelled. A second later, he realised what he had said and added a blush to his already red face. He hoped it wasn’t obvious.

Viktor didn’t say anything, he just nodded and waited nicely for Yuuri to stop crying before suggesting that they head back. Yuuri nodded, and Viktor took his hand and didn’t let go, even when they got back to a crowded area.

“Is his okay?” He asked so that Yuuri could only hear. Yuuri responded by tightening his grip on Viktor’s hand. He didn’t look up, and just stared at the ground for as long as he could. He knew his eyes were red and swollen from crying, probably his cheeks too. He chose to focus on the memory of the first time he let Viktor touch him for longer than a second, when he stopped denying there was a feeling in their touch. He remembered the feeling of the heat of his body finally melting away to Viktor’s cold touch. Even though their touch was normal now, he loved thinking back on that moment. It was comforting, and made him feel better. That, paired with crying, almost made him okay. He wasn’t shaking intensely anymore, and he could only describe the feeling as numb. Not a bad numbness, but a good numb.

He put his skates on as the person before him was finishing. Before he knew it he was on the ice, face to face with Viktor. He didn’t want Viktor to say anything, and he didn’t want to say anything either. Instead, he met Viktor’s gaze and reached his hand up. He wordlessly stroked Viktor’s cheek, ending the movement with his hand under his chin, like how Viktor held his chin the day he moved into the Katsuki household to be his coach. He had run away that day, but didn’t want to run away now. He gave a weak smile then pulled away to skate to the middle. He was ready to prove his love through his skating. Sure, Viktor was shit at dealing with problems that he should have known about; it wasn’t like his anxiety was a newly discovered concept. But he still found himself smiling. Everyone has faults; everyone has bad moments where even something they should be good at goes badly. Viktor messed up, but it turned out okay in the end. He might mess up, but no matter the end result, Viktor was his and he was ready to show the world.

He made it through the first half easily, barely even thinking about it. At his favorite part of Yuri on Ice, where the music slows to just the piano and he just glides on the ice with his arms outspread, he made a decision. He was going to change the final jump to a quadruple flip, Viktor’s signature move. He couldn’t think of a reason why, other than wanting to cause a reaction. He could do it, with his stamina and the amounts of practice he had. He wasn’t scared of failing; he just wanted to try.

He didn’t feel tired at all, and was suddenly thankful that Viktor let him sleep in. There was no fatigue in his intricate step routine, or when he was getting ready for the jump. He lifted off and lost his balance and had to touch down on the ice to regain it, but he had done it. A quad flip at the end of his free program, something unheard of. He heard the cheers and the announcers making a fuss about it, but he didn’t care about them. He wanted to see Viktor. He finished his program and greeted the audience, but through his blurred vision looked along the sides for his soulmate. When he saw him, he was running toward the exit gate, making Yuuri take off toward it too.

Viktor made it there first. He made it there then he wasn’t there, he was jumping toward Yuuri with his arms wide. Yuuri didn’t have time to think before they were together, and he felt Viktor’s arm around his head. The distance closed and all of a sudden there were lips on his, then there wasn’t and they were both on the ice. He stared at the ceiling in shock as Viktor pushed himself up.

“I hope that was okay, I couldn’t think of anything else to do to surprise you after that.” Viktor said, and Yuuri smiled. He loved this person, no matter what. He wondered how he ever denied that.

“Really?” Yuuri replied as he met Viktor’s gaze, and they held it for a moment before someone asked if they were okay and they realised they were on the ice and not in the kiss and cry. Viktor got up first and held out his hand to help Yuuri up, which he took with confidence. He didn’t care about his score; he didn’t care about anything besides Viktor.

He ended up on the podium, in 2nd place. Next to him stood Phichit, and Chris on his other side. Yuuri found himself happy. He smiled wide and true when Phichit pulled him into a ‘podium selfie’. He smiled even wider when they got off the ice and Viktor pulled the three podium winners into another picture. He wasn’t irritated by reporters and journalists and the constant flash of the cameras they had. He didn’t try to leave early.

When Viktor was taking back him to the hotel, it was late. He was on his phone the entire way back, and finally let Yuuri in on what he was doing. Apparently, Viktor had positioned his arm well enough to cover their kiss from all the cameras and video feeds. Twitter exploded with people saying it was just a hug, or a kiss. They laughed over that for a long time, and it felt good to laugh like that.

“So Yuuri, was that our first kiss or was that a hug?” Viktor asked.

“Neither, you tripped and used me as a cushion so you didn’t have to fall on the ice.” Yuuri replied instantly, with a surprisingly straight face. They fell into laughter again.

They got ready to sleep, but when Yuuri was about to crawl into bed, Viktor was string intensely at his phone and then at Yuuri.

“Yes?” Yuuri asked.

“Phichit and I posted those pictures.”

“Okay?”

“I just remembered how last ear you didn’t post any pictures during the GPF.” Viktor pulled Yuuri’s phone off the plug and handed it to him. “We’re not repeating that this year.”

“But I’ve already broken that with the plane picture from the ride here!” Yuuri protested. “Also, I didn’t take any pictures today.”

“We’ll take one right now. Or you could do one of you skating. It’s your choice.”

“This is so unnecessary.” Yuuri commented, not particularly directed at Viktor but just thinking out loud. He found his glasses and took a picture with Viktor. All he did was smile, but Viktor flashed a peace sign and had his arm around Yuuri. “Why are you so photogenic?”

Viktor chuckled and shrugged. When the picture was posted and done, they finally laid down to rest. But he wasn’t satisfied yet, there was something else he wanted to say.

“Viktor?”

“Hmm?”

“I think this is one of the better days I’ve ever had, even with the problems before I skated.”

“I take that as a challenge. I bet I can make so many of your days this good if not better.”

Yuuri fell asleep in Viktor’s arms, blushing from that comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOP I LOVE THESE DORKS WITH ALL MY HEART  
> and do u know who else i love? everyone who has left a beautiful comment that brightens my day or dropped a kudo. i love being validated like the fact that people actually like my writing is just ???? thank you omg ur all blessings. Ive been tempted to leave a heart emoji response to every comment but im afraid of being annoying, so im going to make it my goal from this chapter on to respond to every comment, even if its just a heart or smiley face. 
> 
> for anyone who is reading my miraculous ladybug fic, im working on that update next and then doing the next chapter of this one, so i have no guesses as to when it will be done. but even if i take weeks or a month, i promise that i am working on it and would never abandon this fic, bc the response has been so good and it makes me so happy. But since it is spring break and the only other thing i have to entertain myself is the new legend of zelda game, ill probably have a lot of time to write!!


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